I Miss

I miss feeling alive. I know it sounds so dramatic but there it is. I feel so bound by time, work, money, responsibilities, relationships that I'm suffocating. I numb myself just so I could function as required but I feel so darned fake.

I miss the times when I'm reminded that my existence is so miniscule in the grander scheme of things. Like, when I look up to the sky and see so many stars because the nearest artificial lighting is about 2 miles away. You can actually feel them moving. The night is so quiet that you can hear the wind whistling through the nearest bamboo tree.The leaves rustling at intervals, creating a simple melody.

I miss staring out into the ocean at the middle of the night. You can't really see the ocean, but you can taste the salty air, smell the fresh air and hear the waves crashing into the shore and retreating back into the sea's embrace. I miss seeing the sun rise from the sea blanket and vividly color the ocean. I miss riding in motor boats and seeing fishes on the clear blue green ocean floor. I miss swimming till I'm sunburnt, bone tired and dizzy. I want to swim until I can feel like I'm floating in my sleep. I miss crashing by the sandy seashore; safe distance away from the bonfire that should keep us warm while we drink, tell stories, sing along to someone's guitar, laugh hilariously at our antics and bet which one of us is drunk enough to be goaded into doing something very stupid.

I miss lying in a hammock with my favorite tunes on my mp3 player cranked up and reading a book.

I miss hiking up a mountain and looking down on hills, trees, houses fields... not pavement, parking lots, cars and buses.

I miss going to old places that are new to me. To feel the history just pulsing through every furniture, every brick and imagine the events that had taken place.

I miss connecting to the fundamentals. I miss experiencing the simple joys, the simple things that make us feel alive.

My own take on California Maki

Some purists would probably be aghast at my recipe but this works for me and apparently, other people like it well enough. Here goes nuthin.

To prepare this you would need:

2 packs of crab sticks (around 500 grams combined)

1 kilo of Japanese sticky rice (short grain) *yung tig si 68/65 Php sa SM.. kung sosyal ka, mas okay yung 118/99 Php per kilo*

2 cups of red cane vinegar (Del Monte) *typically rice vinegar dapat but this makes a good substitute as well*

1 cup of white sugar

1/2 cup plain mayonnaise *you can also use Japanese mayonnaise that comes in those squigee bottles*

[if you're using plain mayonnaise, you would need to mix 1/2 tsp of paprika, a pinch of salt, pepper and 1/2 tsp of white sugar to it]

3 large, ripe mangoes, cut in strips

1 cucumber, also cut into strips

1 pack of Nori (the darker the nori, the better) *aka dried sea weed*

A bamboo mat

A sturdy chopping board

A very sharp chef's knife

Procedure:

1. Wash the rice thoroughly and soak in water for about 10-30 minutes. If you're using a rice cooker there should be equal parts water and rice.

2. Add a 1/2 cup of water, the red cane vinegar and the sugar once the rice comes to a boil. Stir thoroughly to ensure that the vinegar and the sugar is mixed in properly. Wait till it cooks. Cool once the rice is at the right consistency.

3. While waiting for the rice to cool, you can chop the mangoes and the cucumber into elongated strips.

4. Once cooled, spread the bamboo mat onto the chopping board, then a sheet of nori.

5. Dump 1 and 3/4 cups of rice on the middle of the nori. Spread flat and even it out using a spatula.

6. Make indentations near the bottom of the nori, slather it with the mayonnaise mixture then arrange the crab sticks, mangoes and cucumber.

7. Grab the bottom end of the mat tuck it towards you then roll it.

8. Cut in middle and align then cut individual pieces, about one inch thick.

9. Serve with wasabi and kikoman sauce.

There you have it. This recipe is quite sweet though since that's how I like my maki. I haven't tried it inside out as is more commonly used in commercially made maki's (I miss going to Suki Market!) but I would really love to try. I would need roe though.. which I rarely find in SM.. :(

-----

On a side note.. I normally make maki's when I'm experiencing extreme emotions. There's just something about it that soothes me. It helps me sort out my thoughts. Ate in Cabalen nga pala last Saturday night and their maki is weird. They are using crisp, indian mangoes instead of the pangasinan or zambales ones. Tastes alright.. but I still find it different.

Clarity

So here I am, typing away on my laptop this stormy evening. I hear the thunder rumbling from a distance. The AC can't drown the soothing pitter patter of the rain on the roof.

Its the 8th of the 5th. In two days, I'm turning 24.

This year, aside from my family being safe and healthy, I only have one totally self-directed wish. I wish for clarity.

Clarity. Such a simple word, simple concept but I find it frustratingly difficult to come by it. I feel like everything in my life is so muddled by choices, by options, by other people's opinions, by friendships that i've built or enemies I've made.

I'm so frustrated by the fact that I honestly do not know what to do with my life. I have no inspiration, no dream, no drive.. no aspiration past having money deposited onto my ATM regularly.

I've checked all the variables that Ive used as an excuse in the past to be uninspired - and this current job that I have actually trumped them all. Commute? It's only 30-45 minutes from where I live.. time? the shift is perfect! 9am-6pm! Topic? I love fixing up computers and internet connection so thats not it! stressful customers? We have the best customers in the world. Co-workers? They are all, without exception, really decent and upstanding, kind people. Success? finished training top of the class and my stats are okay - so i'm not really frustrated with that either.

So why do I still feel restless? As if I'm a ball, trying to fit into a square hole? I feel different and I feel caged. This feeling of being in out of place just won't go away. I honestly thought for a couple of weeks there that i've found my niche. But now, I realize that I was only kidding myself because I can't face the fact that I'm scared of living in the real world. The real world where real problems can't be solved by transferring to a higher level of support. To a world where you can't ask your supervisor to slay the angry customer for you. To a world where you actually have to converse with another person about their hopes and dreams and political views - not just what needs to be fixed in their pc.

I'm not wishing for more money, not knowledge, not even peace... I just want clarity. To be able to see myself clearly and the people around me. To know my place in the world.. to find something that I can offer to the world and help people with.. something that would make feel alive, instead of just existing.

I know it's a tall order, even for my 24th birthday. I may not have clarity - I may be confused with what I want/can/will/ought to/should be/would be doing with my life right now, but if there's one thing that I don't lack - its hope. An unconditional trust in the Supreme Being that he will guide me in figuring it out soon so that he can use me to help other people.

Valentine Blues

Is there a character that is the equivalent of christmas' Grinch for Valentine? Because if there is.. then I'm definitely on his team.

I opened the paper last week (yes, as if I don't get enough news on the web, I actually have the patience to read through the editorial pages of PDI), and saw this article on young blood. An intelligent and seemingly successful 21 year old woman was whining about how, in her 21 years of existence here on this earth, she has not had a valentine because she's a member of NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth).

Well, I'm not exactly a part of that demographic but I identify with her. It's lonely and depressing to be alone on valentines day and I kinda feel fake if I celebrate it giving roses and chocolates to my folks since I do enough of that on mother's day, father's day - not to mention their respective birthdays. I'm hardly the type to hook up either. I could spend it with my friends (and get stinkin drunk) but my location would not give me that luxury.

Honestly, I think I should just go abroad and work. I feel like I'm no different than an OFW since I don't really have a life here. It would be a great adventure of epic proportions - to be able to meet people from different countries, nationalities, walks of life. I'd be willing to do manual labor - it would be nice to do something that doesn't exhaust my braincells.

Anyway, yeah.. Valentines suck. I don't even have a good book to read. Or a good kdrama to indulge in. Did I mention that Valentines suck? I already did?? well, so does Mondays.. I hate Mondays with a passion. Why do they have to be together.. I thought 2011 is my year (according to the chinese lunar calendar)? Rabbit? wth!? Work your magic!

Funerals and Regrets

It is always hard to write about death, but I have always felt that writing about painful things helps one heal him or herself.

Yesterday started out ordinarily enough. Woke up, went through my routine, then my sister suddenly asked me to look up flight information for saturday morning. Which I did no questions asked. My mother, ever the fountain of information texted us that our Uncle, my dad's oldest brother passed away last night.

I was shocked. I knew he was weak but I thought that it was more due to his advancing years rather than a pressing illness. I felt sick to my stomach when I remembered my dad reminiscing several months ago that the last time he and his brother actually talked - his brother was asking him to come home and visit, to which my dad replied that he can't because he cannot take time off from work. He said that uncle asked him when he will make time? at his funeral? I guess his words rang true and I can only imagine my dad's grief. He was crying non-stop since he heard the news yesterday till late last night. I never knew my dad to be that emotional. Sure, he cried when we buried his older sister , our favorite tita, and his uncle, our defacto lolo on his side-but never with this much heartbreaking grief. I'm quite worried.

My Uncle, what little bits and pieces I remember of him, was a somber man. He was a busy body who woke up at the crack of dawn and I remember him and his wife making several "banyeras" of suman during our stay at their sprawling colonial house which is right at the center of Calbayog city. They (siblings) have a wide age gap and my dad always said that when most of them were playing, being kids - their kuya had already been working to help clothe, feed and shelter their brood of six. My lolo and lola on my father's side, I was told, died only a couple of months apart so that burden was carried alone by my Uncle until relatives and good Samaritans took in his siblings. Then he got married and created his own family.

I can only imagine how hard that must have been. But what I find astounding is that through it all, through all the moves and through different homes and relatives each sibling went through-they never forgot to keep in touch with each other. Out of the six of them, he was the only one who lived at Samar his whole life. It's like, he's been waiting at home, making sure that he's there if ever one of his siblings decide to visit or stay.

I wish I could have visited them more than once. I wish I had gotten to know him as much as I did Tita Lisa. I wish I could have known my cousins and my nieces and nephews who are probably a lot older than me. I wish our family would have been a lot closer with the rest of our relatives.

So I'll leave this post with Harry Chapin's Cat's Cradle as a reminder to never take one's family for granted in the pursuit of things we think might make us happy.

New Year Dreamin'

Dreams are funny things. They can either feature one's hopes and aspirations or it could just simply be a nightmare of epic proportions.

So today, due to being up till 4 in the morning, I slept the through the afternoon and was swept away in a dream so freakin' vivid it shook me all the way to my core.

No, it wasn't a nightmare. I think I would have been able to shrug it off easily had it simply been a nightmare. I wish it would have been just a nightmare so I wouldn't feel this emptiness inside.

My dream was simple. I was loved, cared for cherished.. did I mention crazy in love? The guy who I was dreaming about isn't really important although I must admit that he's starring in my dreams more and more frequently though I honestly can't figure out why. The only thing that attracts me to him is his sense of individuality. I think the phrase "marches to his own drum" has been coined specially for him. In reality he's happily inlove with his super hot girlfriend. In short-he's not my typical fantasy material.

Anyway, I'm not gonna elaborate on the scenes. Cuddling, sugar kisses and lots of super cute flirting. Just thinking back on it brings a silly grin and a blush to my face.

My heart races... then just as suddenly... pain.

Pain.. because it isn't real.

Pain, because it's over as soon as I wake up.

Pain.. because no matter how hard I wish it were otherwise, I'm still not that girl in my dream.

And the guy in my dream does not exist in my reality.

Awww man! Its the new year and i'm feeling all maudlin. Maybe I've been watching too many Kdramas.. or maybe I just need to get laid.. hahahaha!

:D

Chopsuey

Chopsuey. Mixed veggies with quail eggs, pork, or chicken or whatever is in the freezer. Just a jumble of anything and everything under the sun. Describes my emotions to the t.

I'm sad. Sad because fate is fickle and life is unfair. Sad that luck plays too big of a part in our lives and that we can't do anything about it.

Sad that we have to say goodbye to people whom we just met. It also makes me sad that I feel like I wasn't able to prove myself and correct whatever misconceptions these group of people may have formed about me, be it good or bad.

Frustrated. Frustrated that some people can't understand the concept of "live and let live". That choosing sides in an argument is never productive. Frustrated that many people still judge a book by its cover and that they still make snap judgments despite having so many precautionary tales to adhere to.

Relieved that I made it.

Happy that I got to meet this lovely group of people. Happy that I was able to share laughter and a couple of bottles of beer with them.

Grateful for the time, the knowledge, the friendship and the concern.

Most of all, I am excited to go through this path and see where it leads.

redesigning emi

So.. I've just read something interesting today. Paolo Coelho says that there are three symptoms that a person is killing his/her dreams.

The first one is never having enough time. He said that those who lose their dream tend to not have enough time to do things because they are being complacent because they are not motivated enough to fight the good fight.. to squeeze in whatever else they need to do in one day simply because in not doing so is as good as surrendering. At least that's how I interpreted it.

I realized that yes.. I am quite guilty of this. I always feel like I never have enough time to do half the things i set out to do. I am the only one preventing myself from doing things I want to do simply because I feel that there won't be enough time. Enough time to get home, enough time to finish whatever it is I'm doing, not enough time till my favorite television show starts.. so many excuses when i should have just been trying my best to do whatever i can to finish/participate on activities that further my goal and that would make me happy.

The second symptom he described is having particular certainties in life. I think it means being jaded. Like, if you've lost your sense of wonder towards life or if you believe that there is nothing in this life that could shock you anymore.. then you're in trouble. I think it also means being apathetic to the plight of other people.

I am also guilty on this account. Being a commuter and a regular at the particular industry that i have worked in for 3 years now.. I feel as if i've seen all i need to see, I know what i know - which is quite stupid since it has been drilled into me during college that one never ceases to learn new things. That every experience, every mistake is a lesson learned in reality. I started to think that all these things simply mean that I am simply not capable. I allowed myself to wallow in the belief that i will never be good enough... without even trying.. without even putting up a fight.. without looking at it as a chance to improve and redeem myself someday.

The third and last symptom is peace. I always thought that peace and contentment is a good thing - but apparently, it isn't. I guess what he means is when we are at peace with letting our dreams go, content with whatever meager success we have - then we are killing our dream.

I totally agree and I also feel that i have done this too. When i was at work or in commute.. i would always end up thinking about the view in my bedroom window. Blue skies, leaves swaying outside.. listening to the radio while i try to compose a poem or just doodle through the afternoon various lines or lying in the hammock reading a good book. I also thought to myself before that if i had all the books in the world in an isolated cabin in the forest.. that i would be the happiest person the world to live as a hermit.

But despite being among other people. Working from job to job.. commuting from one city to the next.. i am a hermit. As if i feel no real joy being in the outside world, mingling with people. I can't wait to find time for myself to just simply curl up in bed and read and read and read. A hermit trapped by my search for solace and peace. It's like stumbling into the emergency room, a huge wound bleeding but asking only for morphine then sitting in the corner waiting for life to bleed out of you. It's refusing to fight, to face the world head on that kills one's dreams, i guess.

I think I know what i want to do after reflecting on this. I'm going to start fighting the good fight. I'm gonna start taking chances - saying what i really feel, argue for what i think is right..

but honestly.. i haven't figured it out yet.. my dream. I don't know what my dream is yet. Maybe that's why i feel so lost and unmotivated. I have no dream except for keeping my family safe and healthy.

No worries though.. i'm working on it. I'm gonna find a dream and I'm going to push myself to fight the good fight.. every single day.

lost poems

here are some poems that i've made that i've recovered from my friendster inbox.

nOeMi wrote:

> fruits of endless hours of not knowing what to

occupy

> my self with.. enjoy..

>

> >EF-U<

>

> He turns to me and then he smiles

> Turning on his masculine wiles

> But all I could think about were you hilarious

stories

> And it's the weird faces that you make, when

you tell

> them, that I miss

>

> He would take my hands between his and kiss

my

> wrists

> He tells me how smooth and soft they feel and

that

> my perfume is one of a kind

> Yet an image of you, staring at my hands, like a

> starving man to a feast

> Your eyes drifting close as I touch your cheek,

is

> forever ingrained in my mind

>

> He would smell and kiss and twirl my hair when

he

> holds me close

> And he would press a kiss at the back of my

neck

> and nuzzle my nose

> But my memory conjures your fingers, gently

running

> through my hair

> Then teasingly tracing my spine, leaving sweet

little

> shivers everywhere

>

> When were together, he would wield his guitar

and

> sing to me

> His voice, the sweet melody-all in perfect

harmony

> Yet my ears fell deaf to his song and I hear your

> stupid out-of-tune voice

> The boisterous laughter amidst your painful

version

> of Kiss From a Rose

>

> I want to make new memories with him but I'm

> trapped by yours

> Wounds that you've left are healing-he's not

repulsed

> by the scars

> I know someday he'd breach my silent walls and

> rescue me

> But for now I weep for things that was, that is

and

> cannot be

>

>

> >Summer Insanity<

>

> Endless summer night sky

> A vast place for my wandering mind

> Looking for answers not meant to find

> Deciphering echoes of times left behind

>

> A million stars winking all in harmony

> Teasing men about their dreams and destiny

> "Wish upon me, tell me your heart's desires

> For I am you sole confidante in this secret hour

>

> Some shout their jubilation for the entire world to

see

> Some weep their hearts out silently

> Others blame and curse their fate at the stars

above

> While others revel in their destined love

>

> And through it all the summer night sky bears

witness

> Silent, sympathetic to our human weaknesses

> Aiding those who seek to break a pact to be

whole

> Consoling the hearts left behind, broken, by

those

> selfish souls

>

> Summer is a season of utter madness

> A time of nonsensical whispers and careless

kisses

> Time to shed one's deepest inhibitions

> Of wicked, impassioned flirtation

>

> Summer breaks hearts

> Sometimes it also mends them

> It's a time when new love starts

> While most reach their ending

>

> Hot and humid days, warm nights

> Possibilities are taking over

> Nothing seems wrong but nothing seems right

> Either way, it's up to you to drink it all in

>

> ...or stay lonely and sober

>

RESURRECTED!!

OMG!!!! I did it! I resurrected my blog.

It's been a while since i posted here, mainly cause i've forgotten my uid and pword. I was also too busy studying and then working.

But today, i suddenly feel nostalgic so i tried to see if i could remember my logins for this blog which was my work in progress in copying and pasting and editing html codes.

I can believe its been almost two years since i last posted here.

I got through my thesis defense, i graduated.

I worked in a callcenter and then resigned.

..that can't be right, i was able to sum up 2 years of my life in two sentences.. pathetic.

downloading songs.. going to games..

waaaaaaaaaahhhhh.. its thesis week.. and what the hell am i doing? NOTHING that's what! Just finished volleyball practice and im feeling great.. wala lang.. i like playing volleyball, it releases a lot of stress..

I am officially kissing dating goodbye

I'm a Christian and i'm through not doing anything about it. I feel like a fraud because God does so much for me and yet, i question myself, what do i do for him? I've read purpose driven life and i am amazed how God is so insightful, how omnipotent he is, cuz he found the one thing that could reach through my barriers.. books.

Since i've read ppdl.. i find myself wanting to read other christian books..

one time, Rica gave me a brochure of christian books-and a title jumped out at me. It was boy meets girl by Joshua Harris. During those times, i was praying to God, asking him to "please, please, let me experience love" nyahaha.. how corny is that?!! but the truth is, I really did feel lonely. Before i go to sleep at night, i ask myself, what good did i do to a person today? I know i sound hypocritical, but its true, i do ask myself weird questions to put me to sleep. It's my mind's way of rewinding and unloading all my thoughts. And all those answers i could find to that certain question seems to lack something. I guess, i wanted to be needed and to feel like my existance meant something to somebody out there, beyond the superficial, beyond the material things i could offer. Anyway, i've been asking God that and now, realize that he has given me an answer. When that book title jumped out at me amidst others, it was the start of God's loving reply. I looked that book up and saw that it was for couples. a friend saw me looking at it, my face must have mirrored my disappointment, cuz she told me that there was a book by that same author-a best selling book for singles entitled "I Kissed Dating Goodbye"

weird.. but this book pretty much tells me to wait.. its beginning to strengthen my resolve to wait.. nyahahha.. basta.. its really something.. im having so much fun reading it..

I encourage others to read it.. young and old alike.. Christian or not..

a day at Avilon Zoo

wahehehehe.. ansaya ng day na toh.. (gawd.. i sound like Kris Aquino.. bleah..) anyway, me and a couple of classmates and these kids we teach at MILC went to this awesome zoo at the heart of montalban rizal.. i wasn't disappointed, infact, on the contrary, i was quite surprised and exhilirated.. who would have thought that a grown girl like me could feel like a child at a candy store t a zoo??!! heheh.. it was really cool, i particularly liked the talking Mayana birds.. one meows, says panget then goodbye.. another one says hello, hah? and talaga.. it was really funny.. so funny in fact that we went back without the tour group.. frankly im surprised that Avilon Zoo is not really that known to more people.. for me it is the ultimate destination if you guys wanna have good clean fun with your family with the kids. Their animals are well maintained-unlike in manila zoo wherein the animals are malnourished. They have beautiful animals.. each and everyone in good health, very clean (that if you want, they can take it out of the cage and let you pet it, unless of course it is highly deadly..)and really human friendly.. :)) it's so vast that we nearly got lost.. o yea.. in case ur wondering, the entrance is only 188 Php.. anyway, back to my adventure(man, im so depraved that i consider visiting the zoo such a thrilling event.. huhuhuhu..) i got to pet the hawk, a huge owl and an eagle, it was soo cool and they are such magnificent creatures.... another unforgettable event for me, is the one when a couple of us went back to see the big cats.. the puma won't come out, the jaguar was sleeping-so was the cheetah and.. the huge tiger was cleaning himself by his railings... and so we took pictures of him (im not really certain but since it seems petulant and suplado, i decided to call it a he.), oohed and ahhed over him cuz he's such a magnificent cat and he growled back a little.. well, that shouild have warned us but it didn't, he suddenly stood up and roared up at us, frightening us a bit but eventually making us laugh.. anyway, he's really glorious.. i wish i could post the pix to show you just how much, but i can't cuz i don't have much time.. newei..

ciao.. hoping u had a great day just like i did..

the only permanent thing in this world is change

what can i say? its been a while since i updated my blog. i must admit, i still have apparent fondness for this blog which i have painstakingly put together during those endless, sleepless summernights.

as i have said in the title.. change is the only thing permanent in this world.. and one of the major change in my world recently is having to move from qc to the province of Bulacan. Though i still study in PLM, its still a major change for me. I'm still a city gurl through and through-make no mistake about that. I must admit though that coming home to the province is much more relaxing than having a home in the city.

newei.. since we and my family moved, my net connection is severed and here i am renting a pc.. hahhhyy.. :((

ciao..

back to school once more..

hahhyy.. enrollment n s monday.. back to the harrying days of trying to do everything in an hour or so while the professor is watching.. *sigh* i wish i hadn't agreed to become a society officer. i can't even sleep at night without worrying about stuff. can't even go through my sembreak without regretting or worrying about things concerning the society. next year, if i ever have the urge to hold an office.. will someone immediately hit me with a rock as soon as possible. sure i could take care of a few people but not a whole department definitely. anyway, if any of my classmates is reading this, please don't forget huh..

I'm busy throwing hints that he keeps missing
Don't have to think about it
I Wanna kiss and
Everything around it but he's too distant
I wanna feel his body
I can't resist it

I know my hidden looks can be deceiving
But how obvious should a girl be?
I was taken by the early conversation piece
And I really like the way that he respect me

I've been waiting patiently for him to come and get it
I wonder if he knows that he can say it and I'm with it
I knew I had my mind made up from the very beginning
Catch this opportunity so you and me could feel it 'cos

If you're ready for me boy
You'd better push the button and let me know
Before I get the wrong idea and go
You're gonna miss the freak that I control

I'm busy showing him what he's been missing
I'm kind of showing off for his full attention
My sexy ass has got him in the new dimension
I'm ready to do something to relieve this mission

After waiting patiently for him to come and get it
He came on through and asked me if I wanted to get with him
I knew I had my mind made up from the very beginning
Won't miss this opportunity so you and me could feel it 'cos

If you're ready for me boy
You'd better push the button and let me know
Before I get the wrong idea and go
You're gonna miss the freak that I control

If you're ready for me boy
You'd better push the button and let me know
Before I get the wrong idea and go
You're gonna miss the freak that I control

I've been dropping so many hints
You’re still not getting it
Now that you’ve heard everything I have to say
Where we gonna go from here?

After waiting patiently for him to come and get it
He came over and asked me if I wanted to get with him
I knew I had my mind made up from the very beginning
Won't miss this opportunity so you and me could feel it 'cos

If you're ready for me boy
You'd better push the button and let me know
Before I get the wrong idea and go
You're gonna miss the freak that I control

If you're ready for me boy
You'd better push the button and let me know
Before I get the wrong idea and go
You're gonna miss the freak that I control
(I control)

If you're ready for me boy
(For me boy)
You'd better push the button and let me know
Before I get the wrong idea and go
(Oh, oh)
You're gonna miss the freak that I control

....mwahha.. here's mah fave song ryt now.. its soOO nice. i really love sugababes. the lyrics are so sexy. anyway, here's my second fave song..

Oh, baby dolls

I know you like me (I know you like me)
I know you do (I know you do)
Thats why whenever I come around shes all over you
And I know you want it (I know you want it)
It's easy to see (it's easy to see)
And in the back of your mind
I know you should be home with me

[Chorus]
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Dont cha, dont cha
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Dont cha, dont cha

Fight the feeling (fight the feeling)
Leave it alone (leave it alone)
Cause if it aint love
It just aint enough to leave a happy home
Let's keep it friendly (let's keep it friendly)
You have to play fair (you have to play fair)
See, I dont care
But I know she aint gon' wanna share

[Chorus]
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Dont cha, dont cha , baby
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Dont cha, dont cha

I know I'm on your mind
I know we'll have a good time
I'm your friend
I'm fun
And I'm fine
I aint lying
Look at me, you aint blind [2x]

See, I know she loves you (I know she loves you)
I understand (I understand)
I'd probably be just as crazy about you
If you were my own man
Maybe next lifetime (maybe next lifetime)
Possibly (possibly)
Until then, Oh friend your'e secret is safe with me

[Chorus]
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Dont cha, dont cha
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Dont cha, dont cha

... hehehe.. don't cha!!!!!!

i wonder if i've gained a few pounds after such boring and fruitless week that i spent watching tv and surfing the net then sleeping.. hehe.. i'll let my classmates bethe judge..