a day at Avilon Zoo

wahehehehe.. ansaya ng day na toh.. (gawd.. i sound like Kris Aquino.. bleah..) anyway, me and a couple of classmates and these kids we teach at MILC went to this awesome zoo at the heart of montalban rizal.. i wasn't disappointed, infact, on the contrary, i was quite surprised and exhilirated.. who would have thought that a grown girl like me could feel like a child at a candy store t a zoo??!! heheh.. it was really cool, i particularly liked the talking Mayana birds.. one meows, says panget then goodbye.. another one says hello, hah? and talaga.. it was really funny.. so funny in fact that we went back without the tour group.. frankly im surprised that Avilon Zoo is not really that known to more people.. for me it is the ultimate destination if you guys wanna have good clean fun with your family with the kids. Their animals are well maintained-unlike in manila zoo wherein the animals are malnourished. They have beautiful animals.. each and everyone in good health, very clean (that if you want, they can take it out of the cage and let you pet it, unless of course it is highly deadly..)and really human friendly.. :)) it's so vast that we nearly got lost.. o yea.. in case ur wondering, the entrance is only 188 Php.. anyway, back to my adventure(man, im so depraved that i consider visiting the zoo such a thrilling event.. huhuhuhu..) i got to pet the hawk, a huge owl and an eagle, it was soo cool and they are such magnificent creatures.... another unforgettable event for me, is the one when a couple of us went back to see the big cats.. the puma won't come out, the jaguar was sleeping-so was the cheetah and.. the huge tiger was cleaning himself by his railings... and so we took pictures of him (im not really certain but since it seems petulant and suplado, i decided to call it a he.), oohed and ahhed over him cuz he's such a magnificent cat and he growled back a little.. well, that shouild have warned us but it didn't, he suddenly stood up and roared up at us, frightening us a bit but eventually making us laugh.. anyway, he's really glorious.. i wish i could post the pix to show you just how much, but i can't cuz i don't have much time.. newei..

ciao.. hoping u had a great day just like i did..

the only permanent thing in this world is change

what can i say? its been a while since i updated my blog. i must admit, i still have apparent fondness for this blog which i have painstakingly put together during those endless, sleepless summernights.

as i have said in the title.. change is the only thing permanent in this world.. and one of the major change in my world recently is having to move from qc to the province of Bulacan. Though i still study in PLM, its still a major change for me. I'm still a city gurl through and through-make no mistake about that. I must admit though that coming home to the province is much more relaxing than having a home in the city.

newei.. since we and my family moved, my net connection is severed and here i am renting a pc.. hahhhyy.. :((

ciao..

back to school once more..

hahhyy.. enrollment n s monday.. back to the harrying days of trying to do everything in an hour or so while the professor is watching.. *sigh* i wish i hadn't agreed to become a society officer. i can't even sleep at night without worrying about stuff. can't even go through my sembreak without regretting or worrying about things concerning the society. next year, if i ever have the urge to hold an office.. will someone immediately hit me with a rock as soon as possible. sure i could take care of a few people but not a whole department definitely. anyway, if any of my classmates is reading this, please don't forget huh..

I'm busy throwing hints that he keeps missing
Don't have to think about it
I Wanna kiss and
Everything around it but he's too distant
I wanna feel his body
I can't resist it

I know my hidden looks can be deceiving
But how obvious should a girl be?
I was taken by the early conversation piece
And I really like the way that he respect me

I've been waiting patiently for him to come and get it
I wonder if he knows that he can say it and I'm with it
I knew I had my mind made up from the very beginning
Catch this opportunity so you and me could feel it 'cos

If you're ready for me boy
You'd better push the button and let me know
Before I get the wrong idea and go
You're gonna miss the freak that I control

I'm busy showing him what he's been missing
I'm kind of showing off for his full attention
My sexy ass has got him in the new dimension
I'm ready to do something to relieve this mission

After waiting patiently for him to come and get it
He came on through and asked me if I wanted to get with him
I knew I had my mind made up from the very beginning
Won't miss this opportunity so you and me could feel it 'cos

If you're ready for me boy
You'd better push the button and let me know
Before I get the wrong idea and go
You're gonna miss the freak that I control

If you're ready for me boy
You'd better push the button and let me know
Before I get the wrong idea and go
You're gonna miss the freak that I control

I've been dropping so many hints
You’re still not getting it
Now that you’ve heard everything I have to say
Where we gonna go from here?

After waiting patiently for him to come and get it
He came over and asked me if I wanted to get with him
I knew I had my mind made up from the very beginning
Won't miss this opportunity so you and me could feel it 'cos

If you're ready for me boy
You'd better push the button and let me know
Before I get the wrong idea and go
You're gonna miss the freak that I control

If you're ready for me boy
You'd better push the button and let me know
Before I get the wrong idea and go
You're gonna miss the freak that I control
(I control)

If you're ready for me boy
(For me boy)
You'd better push the button and let me know
Before I get the wrong idea and go
(Oh, oh)
You're gonna miss the freak that I control

....mwahha.. here's mah fave song ryt now.. its soOO nice. i really love sugababes. the lyrics are so sexy. anyway, here's my second fave song..

Oh, baby dolls

I know you like me (I know you like me)
I know you do (I know you do)
Thats why whenever I come around shes all over you
And I know you want it (I know you want it)
It's easy to see (it's easy to see)
And in the back of your mind
I know you should be home with me

[Chorus]
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Dont cha, dont cha
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Dont cha, dont cha

Fight the feeling (fight the feeling)
Leave it alone (leave it alone)
Cause if it aint love
It just aint enough to leave a happy home
Let's keep it friendly (let's keep it friendly)
You have to play fair (you have to play fair)
See, I dont care
But I know she aint gon' wanna share

[Chorus]
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Dont cha, dont cha , baby
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Dont cha, dont cha

I know I'm on your mind
I know we'll have a good time
I'm your friend
I'm fun
And I'm fine
I aint lying
Look at me, you aint blind [2x]

See, I know she loves you (I know she loves you)
I understand (I understand)
I'd probably be just as crazy about you
If you were my own man
Maybe next lifetime (maybe next lifetime)
Possibly (possibly)
Until then, Oh friend your'e secret is safe with me

[Chorus]
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Dont cha, dont cha
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Dont cha, dont cha

... hehehe.. don't cha!!!!!!

i wonder if i've gained a few pounds after such boring and fruitless week that i spent watching tv and surfing the net then sleeping.. hehe.. i'll let my classmates bethe judge..

updating.. updating..

well, i finally have a very short sembreak.. and a very short time to update my blog. between all my school work and homestuff, i really dont have much time to look much less update my blog.. so here i am, trying to make amends..

my mom bought a house in Bulacan. I am really happy about our new neighborhood.. it seems nice.. but we wont be moving there till who knows when.. the jury is still out on that one..

i have a lot happening in my life right now but im not really in the mood for sharing.. instead, id rather post a poem ive made a couple of weeks ago.. i havent figured out a title for it yet.. o yea.. i made it myself.. i know its no dickinson but please dont copy it and post it as your own.. its not that good anyway.. please... thanks..!


I've always been a level-headed kind of girl
But when you give me that look, my insides begin to whirl
There's something about you that makes me lose my sanity
It's like suddenly being thrashed like a bouy in a particularly violent sea

As it turns out, im not as weird and as different as i thought
For females flock to you like a fire attracts hordes of moth
But boy, im not playing at their kind of game
Out to claim you for their own fame

I must warn you though, i don't fool around
I get what i want, as cocky as that may sound
I have no plans of playing in that game you must have played a couple of times before
The kind that morning leaves a girl in rumpled sheets as you're starting for the door

But i do want you...

i want you like the sahara craves rain
i want you like morphine, to take away my pain
i need your love as i need air to live
i hunger for your love that you never give

damn it.. how do i make you mine?
how much farther must i cross the line?
but then again i've already discarded my rules
havent i proven that i am the best among these fools?

So here it is, my last desperate attack
get ready to be amazed and shocked
For i will rock your world till all your walls have fallen down
And i'll emerge as your woman amidst all these clowns

----

its a bit weird, don't you think? i know its my poem but.. eeekk.. i wonder if i would really go so far to win a guy's heart? but then again, society frowns upon that so.. waahh.. i dunno..

this poem is not dedicated to any particular person, or object..

The week that was

Im still reeling in from this weeks ups and downs. I feel as though I’ve been dragged through manila a thousand times… literally! Last Friday, I was so happy that our society’s general assembly went great despite the fact that so many things tried to thwart us from our goal, it was so annoying! They know they can’t win! Hehehe..

Saturday, August 13, 2005, Aira dragged me to the 25th Manila International Book Fair. I had such a grand time. I met up with my god parents and helped my godmother pick out books for their library in AdU. Must be nice being alibrarian and getting to pick your books and the school will be paying for it. Hahhyy.. it was so nice. All the sales people were treating my ninang as if she was royalty although she was dressed quite simply. I felt like a kid in a candy store that could only get free tastes and can’t afford to buy some.. it was sheer torture!!! Anyway, I stayed with them till nine in the evening. At first my mom was furious but when she found out that I was with my godparents she was quite relieved. I received so many give aways.. bags, cups, calendars and a really nice poster saying I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT BOOKS. It was nice too because it also had quotations from famous people on how important and how pleasurable reading could be. We went to a book launching in one of the function rooms (hehe, there was free merienda too!). it was by the CCP (cultural Center of the Philippines)they launched Ani:31 Mga Tula ng Puso (Harvest:31 Poems of Love) it was the 31st addition to the harvest series which feature Filipino Literary works. There was a reading and it was passionate and quite graphic but the pinoy’s romantic side shines through quite clearly. Most of the poems were in the vernacular. There was pangasinense, ilocano, cebuano.. and so much more. It was quite a read. Then they launched a documentary on the late Pacita Abad. She was quite the painter. It was titled “groovy” which perfectly describes her art. It was colorful, vibrant and so full of life! After that we went to a reflexology class. It was very informative too! I was exhausted but what the heck; I totally dug my day at the fair.

Monday was such a shock for me. Two of my fellow org officers.. or maybe three.. had a falling out, and im in the middle of it. They’re patching it up nanaman.. well, I hope so, for the org’s sake. I reported about Medieval Inquisition in our Social and Political Theories and Movements class. It went great! I loved talking about Joan of Arc and how she was burned at the stake for heresy when the king had no more use for her in the war. But the results of the quiz I gave was quite disappointing. It was about European Feudalism only a few of my classmates passed despite our very lively discussion.

Tuesday, I brought my CCP calendar of events to school and my May back ish of Cosmo w/c I also bought at the fair. I browsed through it and found something that caught my interest. It was a play entitled “Ang Pokpok ng Ohio” (the whore from Ohio). Me and a couple of friends decided to save up money to watch the play by October. Our dicussion then turned to documentaries and my classmate told me that the I-witness docufest will be held at SM manila the following day. I was so psyched!

Wednesday was interesting enough. I answered every question thrown at me in the Hermes quiz correctly, world geography test was cancelled, so I literally couldn’t wait to go to SM manila and watch the docufest. I was so disappointed when, as it turns out, it will be this coming Saturday.

Thursday, I attended our outreach group on YOF. It was very emotional for me.

Friday, mam hicarte had a long talk with me, it was also emotional and I thank her and God for giving me a chance to know a person like her. She helped me ask God to take away all my guilt feeling over my aunt’s death that I was surprised to feel that I had carried for quite while..

Saturday! Docufest here I come. First I met up with Caloy and some other officers. I gave them money from the org’s treasure chest to print the shirt. Anyway, I hurried to the theaters and sure enough, Raffy Tima’s “Basura” was there on the big screen, I was so lucky that I was given a seat although most of the people were standing up. I sat next to the I-witness crew. I wouldn’t go into detail about the docus here. But I really had a great time.

Now it’s Sunday, I have nothing to do but reflect on the past week..

of beauty

isa to sa mga pinakaseryoso at pinakamaayos kong post ever.. well, at least i hope that it would be..

they say beauty is relative.. in fact, in an episode of Joan of Arcadia, God said that everything is relative, except for him of course; if that's the case, then why do we have biases? Why do we put so much effort on how we look? Why are there still lines between good-looking people and ugly people-why are there words for them? Why are we always insecured? why can't we be happy with how we look? of what we truly are? I really don't understand.

Last tuesday, our topic in sociology is oppression and discrimination. so eventually, the topic between discrimination through looks came to light. as proud as i am of our male classmates who ALL confessed about being discriminant due to a female's physical attributes-i am appalled. i dunno why. i considered them.. i dunno.. mature enough to.. hmm.. i dunno.. basta.. i felt there was something missing.. but that cant be.. kasi LAHAT sila.. so maybe the problem is with me, maybe, i was expecting too much.. or maybe im being too self-righteous..

today, i was alone in the LSL office with an officer. He's gay and he's pretty much into making himself as feminine as possible. He's good looking in a way nice skin and eyes, okay hair.. great female singing voice too. He has boyfriendSSS, he's got friends. he can afford to regularly go to a spa or a beauty salon an yet, he's telling me that he's still not contented. He confessed that sometimes he gets so depressed in looking at the mirror that he just simply cries. i dunno if it's just exagerration on his part or whatever, but i believe that statements like that could not be uttered without any truth in it. I suddenly thought to myself "if u cry by just looking at the mirror, then maybe i should just slit my wrist whenever i see myself reflected in any surface.." I mean.. hello.. where's you're self-worth? it's just the packaging.. it will eventually shrivel up and die someday but what's inside remains forever not only inside of you but eventually inside the people whose lives you've touched. Is your life so worthless that your imperfections move you to tears or even sadness? Is it so shallow that you base your being on how others percieve your physical appearance? Common! u have your boyfriends! why not start somewthing meaningful and self-satisfying (and i don't mean start having sex or some other crazy things)and maybe even intimate. My guess is that he's trying too hard to be perfect physically because he is so insecured of himself... but i didn't say anything.. all i said was.. "yea.. ganyan talaga.. we all have days like that.." im pretty much a crappy friend aren't I?

back to beauty; they say that it's what's inside that counts, how can anybody show what's inside when nobody gives them a shot because they are too dull. i think society has been hiding behind this saying...

hmm.. i am human.. and i do need sleep. im gonna be continuing this by tommorow afternoon..

o yea.. here's me.. warts, pimples and all.. well, pimples anyway.. i don't have warts yet..



...

haapppeeee!!!

Its such a wonderful day today. Natapos na yung mga dapat kong tapusin na report. and i believe that my teaching is up to par kanina. im so happy na wala na meng report, till next week anyway-oh well, that gives me enough time to make my visuals. blue and orange yung theme ng visuals ko.. ansakit sa mata pero.. cute! wala nanaman kaming klase sa ed.eval. mam ramos talaga eh.. but what the heck am i complaining for.. saya nga eh.. Feudalism ang topic ko for monday. I love it-sobra.. makes me think of dashing barons, handsome knights in shining armor and me as the beautiful damsel in distress. mwahahahahhahahha!!! kausap ko nanaman si insan Ren. kulit talaga.. anyway, i miss her ate renalyn.. saya ng buhay nya, sa gapo kasi sya ngaun.. libre load from tita kea di na napagod sa kakataext sakin.

nakakalungkot lang kasi di ako nakapag don bosco ngaun.. and another REALLy sad news.. Patay na si Roco-i've always liked him kasi he fought for the rights of women and youth. he's one of those politicians who i looked up to, and now, he's gone-just when the country needs a decent politician. nakaktuwa.. daming online ngaun.. :)

same shit different day

i've been trying to get away from my responsibilities for 4 days now. I've become such a useless creature.. lurking in the sofa, rummaging through my pocketbook collection.. not having any appetite.. in short.. im a mess.

although of course, when you see me at school, you pretty much won't notice it. anyway.. enough about that. its time for me to regal you of my boob-tube finds.

last saturday and last night.. i was glued to the Lifestyle Channel. I'm no martha stewart wanne be or am i dreaming to be the next tyra banks or naomi campbell. i just found something really interesting in this channel that i usually by pass unless there is an E! entertainment special or revealed. NO! IM NOT TORTURING MYSELF W/Jaques Torres' chocolate recipes and tantalizing desert ideas... I was watching a german movie titled "ANTONIA" whew.. was it complicated or what! God, it was such a wonderful movie. I wonder if Edsel would be so nice as to review it. Anyway, it's about Antonia, she is a law student who was also a part-time paparazzi. she happened to snap a picture of the Count Leonhart Ahrendorrf with a woman. Also included in the picture was an unknown man. Anyway, Leonhartd pursue her until he got the film. It was quite a long movie-more or less four hours that was why it was cut in two parts. Anyway, i wasn't bored by it. there was so many twists and turns in the plot that there was not one single unimportant scene. Basically, it was a drama, mixed with suspense and action. There was also a bit of comedy involved but all the same it was very touching...

i wonder if i could find a pirated DVD of it in Quiapo. It would be soO worth it even if I bought the original. anyway.. did i mention that the woman who portrayed antonia had likeness to sandra bullock's jaw line and face shape? while her smile resembles Julia Roberts' and her body type is like... like... man.. i can't think of any hollywood type as voluptous as this woman. She's so sexy! She's like queen latifah, minus about a couple of pounds but the boobs are the same size. she's really hot. and the men.. aw my gawd.. Leonhardt has really pretty deep blue eyes while moritz has light green eyes. The casting director did a great job and the actors/actresses are really very talented.

suddenly im so open to foreign languaged films. i wanna see "hable con ella"...

anyway.. antonia is such an intense movie. i wouldn't mind seeing it again.

back to the real world. PGMA will be presenting her SONA in a matter of hours a couple of meters from where i live... arrgghh.. what is happening to my country??!!!!!

Im free writing cuz I think I did something really wrong and I am feeling very guilty about it.

It’s eleven oclock, and im still awake.. writing this cuz I think I wont be able to sleep tonight. Why do I feel guilty when I shouldn’t be? All I did was tell a fact. Maybe I am feeling guilty cuz I think I might’ve made it seem worse than it sounds? I dunno. I’m so confused, sorry, humiliated, aggravated.. arrgghh whatever! So this was why warning bells were ringing in my head. But I did heed the warning, I did think a million times before I said anything.. I thought about it a number of times before I blurt it out? Then why am I suddenly feeling as if I’ve made a wrong decision? Why do I feel like I’ve made someone feel that things are much worse than they actually are? Why, oh why do I want to cry and just pound something till my knuckles bruise? I can’t say that I didn’t think.. cuz I did! And yet my judgment at that time told me that it was the right thing to do. It seemed logical.. yet now.. it seems very trivial. Whatever it was, tapos na sya. Also, I’m beginning to feel that I’ve made the wrong assumptions. Arrgghh!! Bat ngaun ko lang naalala tong catch phrase na to??!! ASSUME makes an ASS out of U and ME. Damn it.. pag pagod na ko dapat talaga di na ko pinag oopinyon. Di dapat ako pinagsasalita. Parang feel ko kasi talaga mali yung mga tenses na sinabi ko. Tapos na yun, wala nang kasunod. Arrgghh!! Please!!! Lemme turn back time!!!!! I hate myself. If u knew me well enough, then alam nyo na bihira ako magdrama ng ganito. Di ko alam kung anong kalalabasan ng nasabi ko ngayong gabing ito, ngunit sa mga taong masasaktan o maapektuhan, pinapangunahan ko na kayo ng sorry. Maiintindihan ko kung hindi nyo na nanaisin na makipagassociate sakin It’s no less than I deserve.

Siguro dadating ang pagkakataon na titignan ko tong post kong ito at matatawa ako sa kababawan ko.. pero ngayon.. wala eh.. nahihiya, naiiyak, naasar lang ako sa sarili ko.

Home Study Program

I'm so excited.. as in sobra.. not excited as in natutuwa but more on anticipation. Pano ko kea matuturuan yung mga bata dun sa bosco? me matututunan kaya sila saken? it doesn't get more real than this. I hope this would be a success. I so want to help.. at least in my own way. I may not be rich enough to give them money but i reckon that i have enough knowledge to start them on their way.

Me and my mom had a very heated argument just a couple of hours ago. She was suggesting that i go to Canada-and the first words out of my mouth was... "NO WAY WILL I BE SOME SPOILED BRAT'S YAYA" i think she was really taken aback by what i blurted out. So i prattled on about NOT WASTING 4 YEARS OF MY LIFE-NOT TO MENTION THE CITY GOVERNMENT OF MANILA'S MONEY-STUDYING- JUST TO COOK AND CLEAN AND WIPE SOMEONE ELSE'S Ass. When i settled down a bit-it was her turn to lecture me about.. kweh? come to think about it.. i never really listened to what she was saying. My mind was made up. The only way that they would get me to set foot on that frigid country is if I will be teaching there-as a bonafide professional teacher. no way am i settling for less.

anyway.. nuff about that.. i have an unfinished story here.. i hope you guys would comment on it.. it is actually finished but i havent typed it all yet.. this is about 1/3 of my story.. anyway.. here it goes.. enjoy..

“Hey
Somere!”

“Oh
Brent! It’s you!” Somere replied, startled by Brent’s sudden greeting.

Stupid
moron.. how dare he show his face to me??

“So, how
was it? Is it what you’ve imagined it to be??” Somere asked with a bit of
sarcasm that she can’t quite hide.

Brent
seemed oblivious.

“Oh, the
play?? Oh Wow! Actually.. it went beyond my expectations. They all performed
much better than they did at practice. I guess actors really do work best under
pressure..” Brent enthusiastically shared. While Somere blustered inwardly.

Oh I
bet.. no pressure at all especially for you, the main character.. you seemed so
relaxed.. so friggin cocky and confident.. most evidently in that sweet sweet
kiss in the finale.. with Sandra.. damn..

Seeing
as Somere has no inclination to take over the conversation like she usually
does. Brent decided to take the lead. “So.. are you gonna give us good
reviews? You need pictures to go along with your article in the school
paper??” He asked with a bit of a smile.

Oh no
you don’t.. you don’t get squat! I hated the play.. hated it.. it’s a
blatant mockery of everything the theatre stands for.. Okay.. Oh boy.. get a
hold of yourself Somere.. it wasn’t really that bad... actually.. it was quite
wonderful..

BUT..
Sandra really lacked acting skills.. so she made up for it with her incredible
lip-locking skills.. or should I give the credit to Brent??

Somere
was bowed down all the while.. before looking up at Brent and plastering a fake
smile into her face. “Yea.. sure.. the story was great and the ending.. was..
well.. it was so much more passionate than I had expected.” Somere’s smile
faltered a bit. Remembering the kiss that had stunned the whole audience,
students and teachers alike, Somere can’t help feeling a stab of jealousy,
especially when she speculated how thoroughly Brent and Sandra must have
practiced.

“so
you too huh.. everyone’s talking about it.. some seniors even approached me
this morning, with Sandra’s humongous jock boyfriend to express their dislike
of the ending..” Brent announced grimly.

Somere
quickly checked her companion out for bruises. Sandra’s very jealous, very
possessive boyfriend is one of the school bullies. It would not be unusual for
him and his posse to beat the living daylights out of Brent. So far she could
see no obvious damage. Brent is perfect, as usual. “You okay??” Somere
finally asked in a voice choked by concern.

He
better be okay. Or I swear to God I will use every connection I have.. tell
every friggin “accident” that big oaf got into.. to the principal. I vow
that I will get him kicked out and make his life a living hell if he ever
touched one strand of Brents chocolate hair.

Brent
flashed his 1000 megawatts smile. “Yea.. im fine.. nothing physical.. verbal
sparring.. that’s all..”

I
don’t believe you for one second Brent. I’m gonna find out exactly what
happened. Verbal sparring my ass! Sandra’s boyfriend doesn’t have enough
words in his vocabulary for a verbal push.

“I
don’t know what’s all the fuss about anyway. It’s just a kiss. So it’s
with a pretty girl, big deal! A kiss is only between the two people who are
doing it and how they feel about each other..” Brent said to himself

emo mode nanaman..

aaaarrrrgghh.. di ko na lam kung anong mas masakit.. tong ulo ko.. o etong kapiraso ng laman na tinatawag kong puso..

Breakdown
VERSE 1
You call yesterday to basically say
That you care for me but that you're just not in love
Immediately I pretended to beel similarly
And led you to believe I was O.K.
To just walk away from the thing
That's unyielding and scared to me
CHORUS 1
Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going the extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly loosing my my mind
Underneath the guise of a smile gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal that fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And trun down all the lights and then break down and cry

VERSE 2
So what do you do when somebody you're devoted to
Suddenly just stops loving you and it seems they haven't
got a clue
Of the pain that rejection is putting you through
Do you cling to your pride and sing "I will survive"
Do you lash out and say "How dare you leave leave this way"
Do you hold on in vain as they just slip away

CHORUS 2
Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going the extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly loosing my my mind
Underneath the guise of a smile gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal that fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights and then break down and cry

Rap 1 Wish Bone
Rap 2 Krayzie Bone
Rap 3 Wish Bone
Rap 4 Krayzie Bone

CHORUS 3
Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going the extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly loosing my my mind
Underneath the guise of a smile gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal that fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights and then break down and cry

.. wala lang.. emo mode pa din.. yoko nah!!!!

emo mode pa din

baket ba ganito ang buhay? yung gusto mo, di ka gusto. ang sarap sarap ianalyze and lahat ng datos.. lahat ng posibilidad ngunit sa huli.. ano nga ba? bakit nga ba? bakit sya at hindi ako? pisikal nga lang ba tlaga? when it comes right down to it, nang... waaaahhh. shadap! shadap! wala nanamang kwenta ang sinasabi ko.. hahhhhyyyyy..

etong kanta para sakin... naghahanap ng kakanta

Tell Me Where it Hurts
MYMP

Why is that sad look in your eyes
Why are you crying?
Tell me now, tell me now
Tell me, why you're feelin' this way
I hate to see you so down, oh baby!

Is it your heart
Oh, that's breakin' all in pieces
Makin' you cry
Makin' you feel blue
Is there anything that I can do

[CHORUS:]
Why don't you tell me where it hurts now, baby
And I'll do my best to make it better
Yes, I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts
Now, tell me
And I love you with a love so tender
Oh and if you let me stay
I'll love all of the hurt away

Where are all those tears coming from
Why are they falling?
somebody, somebody, somebody leave your heart in the cold
You just need somebody to hold on, baby
(Give me a chance)
To put back all the pieces
Take hold of your heart
Make it just like new
There's so many things that I can do

[Chorus]

[Instrumental]

Is it your heart
Oh, that's breakin' all in pieces
Makin' you cry
Makin' you feel blue
Is there anything that I can do

[CHORUS]

Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me baby
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me
And I'll do my best to make it better
Yes, I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts
Now, tell me
And I love you with a love so tender
Oh, and if you let me stay
I'll love all of the hurt away

emo mode

ewan ko kung baket.. okay naman me kanina.. ah ewan.. cant concentrate.. waaaaaaahhhh.. im not making any sense.. as usual..

although feel ko natuto ako ng sobra sa seminar ni sir.. ganun pala tlaga un.. next time na mapdpad samin yung pamangkin ko.. pagsusulatin ko yun.. heheh..

nanalo kaya si Harry kanina??

Waaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!! christian Bautista.. mahal kita!!!!!!

natatawa ako sa mga comments ng kapatid ko sa mga pinaka recent pix nameng mga ss..

il be posting them soon..

..or better yet.. pa print ko kaya yung iba??!!! minimum of 10 prints sa island photo kaso 7.50 per print.. samantalang sa photoline 6 lang.. kaso di ko sure kung me minimum na number of prints.. ah basta..

eto pa... mga knta ng tulad ko..

Secret Love - Jojo

Boy you’re so hard to believe
Boy you’re so hard to believe

Just a friend
That’s all I’ve ever been to you
Oh just a girl
Who wants to be the center of your world
But I ain’t got much to offer
But my heart and soul
And I guess that’s not enough
For you to notice me
I’m just a girl
And I guess that’s all I’ll ever be to you
To you

Chorus:
I try to smile when I see other girls with you
Acting like everything is ok
But ohh
You don’t know how it feels to be so in love
With someone who doesn’t even know
My secret love

In my dreams
I see us both together constantly
Why can’t you see
This love that’s here for you inside of me
Ohhh
What do I have to do
For you to notice this
You look at her with love
With me it’s just friendship
I’m just your girl
And I guess that’s all I’ll ever be to you
To you

Chorus:
I try to smile when I see other girls with you
Acting like everything is ok
But ohh
you don’t know how it feels to be so in love
With someone who doesn’t even know
My secret love

Bridge:
What do you see in her
You don’t see in me (don’t see in me)
Boy you’re so hard to believe
Why do you show her love
But there’s none for me
Boy you don’t make sense to me
Cause I don’t have much to offer
But my heart and soul
And I guess that’s not enough
For you to notice me
I’m just your girl
And I guess that’s all I’ll ever be to you
To you

Chorus:
I try to smile when I see other girls with you
Acting like everything is ok (everything ain’t ok)
But ohh
you don’t know how it feels to be so in love (so in love with you baby)
With someone who doesn’t even know
My secret love

Boy you’re so hard to believe


.....

just rip my heart out.. its of no use to me anyway.. whatevers left of it..

turning over a new lay-out

What a day! I’ve finally finished most of the stuff which I had to do. TES stuff and reporting stuff which has been constantly giving me nightmares these past few weeks. I can’t even lie down a bit and NOT think about what I SHOULD be doing. Anyway, I finally decided that I needed a change of company and scenery… hmm.. I think I’m going too fast.. maybe I should start mentioning about our classes first.. NO.. I should probably tell you all about my newly lay-out-ed blog. Well, here it is. I think it’s a bit cleaner than the other one and much more gloomy-it definitely captured the real me.. hehe.. well.. not really.. some people tell me that I am quite bubbly and energetic. Enough about that.. of course I would like to thank Photokicho for providing us hapless ignorants when it comes to web designing, a really beautiful lay-out. Hmm.. I hope that some people heeded my advertisement.. Anybody who has nothing to do.. I finally got myself a PC that connects me to friendster. Okay.. I was a bit late coming into our Asian Civilization class but when I got there, Mam Gil is not yet inside-how lucky can a girl get? Daddy Anniel’s report was about Uzbekistan, whose capital is Tushkent and whose main export is cotton and has at least 97% literacy rate. Okay.. forward to Social and Political Theories and Movements Class. My highlight of this class was when the whole class was arguing about the “Gloriagate” scandal.. then the discussion turned into robbery then my teacher told us girls that when a guy attacks us, we must seem submissive then strike at the least suspected moment by elbowing or kicking or squeezing their groin as hard as we humanly can.. as in.. then she said that the groin is the guy’s weak point – it is where his life depended.. then she said that if the guy’s groin is where his life was depended, in girls, she said it’s the boobs. The class went wild with laughter. But she is right.. I’ll try to keep that advice in mind.. heheh.. after classes.. I wanted to go home na, but then Kim approached me and said that Kat will be meeting with her this afternoon and if I wanted to come too.. I said yes because I wanted a change of company. I nearly wasn’t able to oblige her since the SC called for a meeting.. thank god it was someone else’s turn to go.. so me and kim went into booksale. She was reading this book titled “girl2girl” – don’t be pervs! Its an inspirational book that is made to encourage people to look at queer sexuality in a lighter tone. Me, I bought a novel by Johanna Lindsey. When it was finally time to meet the lovely Kat. We’ve never really been.. really close in the past.. probably because there were too many people around to meet, rather than to be able to talk to them one on one. Anyway, she’s fun company and quite thoughtful too. She’s often smiling-giving that aura of warmth.. Although at first I felt left out but it worked out okay. Ah.. yea.. I’d like to thank Gianne (or is it Gian? Waaahh.. im confused..) for another grain of knowledge added to my very dense brain. I have got to try that on to my soc. Scie classmates. After we got too cold inside SM, we went to the walls and I suddenly discovered my xtreme fear of heights-oh well, maybe because I have no faith in my shoes or the length of my palda. Ah basta.. I had one hell of a time climbing the walls. But it was fun.. I had to admit.. I haven’t laughed so hard since last week. Anyway, we just talked to one another till – being the good girl that I am – announced that It is time for me to go home already. They obliged and I was able to catch a fastrans bus going home. Iwas so surprised when the conductress only charged me 21 pesos-when the guy yesterday charged me 27 and the lady conductress when I went to school charged me 22. they all belonged to one bus company. Anyway.. im not complaining.. I think they are quite partial to female students such as myself. Funny thing though.. a three Japanese (or were they Korean?? Im confused) exchange students entered the crowded bus. And so they were forced to stand till somebody vacated their seats. One of the girls sat next to me and began sleeping.. she was swaying right to left.. from my arm to the arm of the person on the aisle seating opposite us. I was amused.. but being the nice person that I am, I woke her when people were to pass on the aisle (which her head blocks a bit.. cuz she is swaying..) anyway.. basta.. its really funny.. she looked like that girl who was engaged to Carlo even before he met Vivian in lovers in Paris. She’s cute… but mas cute yung guy that was with them. He is the humanized version of Kageyama from gatekeepers.. with the dark glasses and all.. I was a bit disappointed that he wasn’t the one who sat next to me..
I got home safe and sound and looking forward to another day..

constantly crazy about constantine maroulis

yea.. i know AI has been over for a couple of weeks now. But i was so delighted when i saw constantine on an episode of elimidate. He was absolutely hilarious. I really love him (ack!!!) waaahhh.. i can't seem to get his boyish charms out of my head. although i must admit he really was a bit gay-ish on that show. the way he folds his arms and the way he talks about the other guys. The girl was soO lucky, but i gotta admit she is pretty smart too. She cut the over-bearing pompous guy second. anyway.. i thought constantine was gonna lose so i was ecstatic when he didn't. heheh.. nobody could resist his charms even then. with the black leather pants and chocolate colored jacket and that endearing smile and that powerful and heady voice.... who the fuck can withstand that kind of hedonistic assault? some of the guys even taunted him, calling him a queen (pertaining to the rock group) wannabe. they even criticized him of being a traditional greek. waaahhhhh!!! i am so grateful that i cut school!!!!!!!!!! hehehheehhehe.. although i missed somebody.. and that somebody had been constantly plaguing my dreams these past few nights.. arrrgggghhh!!! i can't stand it anymore..

ok.. im speaking gibberish again.. ive got some pix that i would like to share to my peeps.. could anybody suggest a photo hosting site which allows at least 1mb per photo? i hate to destroy my pics by using photo hosting that shrink my pix..

wuv u ol.. keep on livin loud..

A Candidate for my "Shitty-est Day Ever" Award

My day started out ordinarily enough. I got to school on time. My professors were great. I had nothing to complain about… until classes were over.

As Mam Hicarte dismissed us, a former classmate and a fellow org officer dragged me to an SC (student council) meeting. He then told me that he had to leave me to attend the meeting alone on behalf of our org because he has class cards to pass to his current prof. So I said okay, since, obviously, I had no choice. The meeting lasted for an hour. Basically the meeting was all about the upcoming mardigras and field work for the foundation day celebration on Sunday. After the meeting, I went to the CR and horror of all horrors, my damn period had just started. I debated whether I should just go straight home and do my best to hide the stain(thank God there wasn’t much) or should I buy new “stuff” and “stuff” then clean my self up in the mall first. Well, there’s a no brainer. I went straight to the mall and bought the things I needed. When I’m all cleaned up, naturally, I went looking for a ride home. While I was walking a dark alleyway, I stepped into a drainage-opening ankle deep in dark, dirty and murky water. Talk about unfortunate. I wanted to cry right there and then but my adult self told me that that would be childish, not to mention, very weird and pointless. So I shrugged it off. I was getting impatient so when a bus pulled over, I hopped onto it, hoping that there would at least be seats available. Sadly, there were none. So spent the hour ride to our house standing in a crowded air-con bus. Thank God the guy standing next to me was no perv. That would have sucked not to mention I might have snapped out of my sanity.

And so I finally got home, wet, dirty and very very tired.

I hope my org mates call me soon because our org have some monumental tasks to do.

why i hate shopping

shocking isn't it? noemi:the girl who hates shopping. i'm probably one of the few in our sex that feels the way i do about shopping. i consider it a time consuming, energy draining and totally dull chore. Oh sure, there are cute sales clerks lurking about the malls, flashing their winning smiles and come hether looks to giggling and unsuspecting victims, but to tell you the truth, id rather they hire people who are ordinary looking. Those who won't distract the customers from looking for exactly what they are looking for. Not that i am ever distracted; since i pay as much attention to a hovering sales clerk as i do to a fly on a wall.

Anyway, i have to post about my shopping trip yesterday. It started out a little bit weird. I was walking back and forth, trying to look for a proper spot to flag down an FX taxi, when suddenly, this guy started calling me. "Miss.. miss.. wait.." so i looked back and stopped walking a bit. When he reached me.. he looked straight at me and said in filipino "Miss, would you mind if I ask you a question?" He looked like he urgently needed the answer and decent enough so i said "Sure, what is it?" Then he shocked me by bluntly saying "May I know your name?" I was like... err.. what makes you think i'd give it to you? Even if you look realy cute in your orange shirt and pretty face (he's not gayish.. he just has.. a pretty face..). And besides, i smell something fishy; at worst this may be a ploy to steal my shopping money at best, it might be one of those stupid joke shows that the masses seem to love but i just find totally inadequate and lacking true good natured humor... Like, cmon! i'm not really the kind of girl who attracts THAT kind of attention. It felt really weird. Anyway.. of course, i didn't say all that.. i just smiled my "thanks, but no thanks" expression aND QUICKLY WALKED AWAY.. After that i joined a clump of people where there was a man neaby flagging down fx taxis for everyone. And so i went to the mall. Nothing eventful there, except that the guy in Penshoppe wrapped my purchased item on a plastic bag 3 times it's size. Maybe he felt sorry for me. Carrying my other purchases around in a couple(as in two) of shopping bags. Anyway, that was thoughtful of him. I was walking behind a couple of pretty fine ladies, making my way around the mall to look for interesting things to buy when all of a sudden, the tallest girl screamed a bit then covered her mouth, her eyes went like saucers then she spoke to her friends.. "Oh my GOSH! GUESS is on sale! look! look! Oh I must have that green cardigan" And sure nuff i found myself staring after the bunch hurrying towards the GUESS shop.. anyway, i found her reaction hilarious. It's like she had seen a rockstar or something. Guess she really adored that green cardigan. I was also thinking of buying that sony DVD Rom Rewritable yesterday at electroworld. It's only 1600 bucks. But then again it was good that i didn't give in to my impulse cuz my mom would have skinned me alive when i got home when i tell her that i had exhausted all my funds.

anyway.. i gotta get ready now.. school's in a couple of hours.. toodles!!

rant rant rant

Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. When you feel one, you also feel the other...

What if you don't feel anything? n0t love.. not hate.. just indiferrence... what do you do??

But you still think about him most of the time. You always seem to remember vividly your times together. Just one reminder and you're back again to that special place.. that one moment... that one. perfect. moment.

Suddenly you feel stupid and then regrets slowly take their toll and then, the longing comes.

Theses feelings are directed towards you, not to the person whom you once shared these moments with. To you.. he was just another failed attempt, just another guy who passed your way and did not stay...

...or maybe you're just in denial..

you still silently bleed but you have become numb because you're already hollow. You are indifferent because you have nothing more to give.. not enough heart to feel either hate or love..

you have become so adept at hiding that even you can't find that girl whom you once were.

enough of that crap, i can just feel bile rising in my chest.

just another incoherent gibberish

im gonna be a bridesmaid...

OH MY FREAKING GOD!!!!!!!!!! ..not just A bridesmaid but THE maid of honor.. damn.. i could hardly wait.

yea yea.. i am a bit over reacting, but this is such a big deal for me. the last wedding i participated in was almost a decade ago.. with me being the flower girl.. and now.. im a friggin maid of honor.. LoL.. i simply can't contain my excitement.

Not that i haven't attended weddings these all these years(im not so deprived naman noh!).. it's just that, im always a relative, a guest, not somebody who partakes in the ceremony itself...

i patiently wait for the day when i will finally be the one saying those vows to the man i love *kilig*.. uh-oh.. hopeless romantic-ness activated.. i could just imagine myself, radiant.. walking down the aisle, looking as besotted as i feel. Looking towards the altar where my husband-to-be, Constantine Maroulis is beaming at me with untainted admiration and true love shining through his beautiful eyes. As my dad gives my hand to him, he seemed equally mesmerized as i am. he whispered.. "Oh baby.. you are a Goddess.. how did i get to be so lucky??!!" then he gently squeezes my hand as if to reassure himself that i am not some cruel apparition that can vanish in a moment. "so do you.. " was all i could say, blushing at the generous praise he gave me. We exchange vows that we have written by ourselves to better express our love and unfailing commitment to one another. You could just hear some of the women guests crying softly at the beauty and the sincerity of our vows to love and cherish each other till eternity...

okay.. nuff about that... focus noemi.. focus, ur getting distracted again..

anyway, my cousin, Reinalyn will be the bride at the wedding where i was supposed to be her maid of honor. She's my cousin whom i felt the most comfortable with. I love her like an older sister. She's really sweet and funny. She's petite and looks a lot like Tony Gonzaga. She works as an entertainer in Tokyo. She has an awesome voice. It is in Japan where she had met her hubby-to-be, Yamada-san. He is thirty-something while my cousin is younger than 25 years old. he had a wife whom he had divorced years ago. I forgot whether he had kids or something. he seemed nice enough according to my cousin. He's decent and doesn't drink much.. and he seems to really make my cousin happy.. if she's happy.. then i am happy for her..

the wedding is scheduled on September.. i'll be sure to post pics.. hehhe..

just another nonsensical post

well, first of all.. i am happy that i am finally able to do what i want-which is to put sounds in this blog..

today, its been one month since my aunt died. things are slowly getting back to normal. although most of us.. still feel that sadness, that void.. that had settled in our hearts ever since she passed away. this event in our lives made me realize how important it is to enjoy the time that is being given to me to explore the world, to be in the company of my loved ones and to experience all that life has to offer.

on a lighter note..

i can't wait for classes to start. not that im a masochist or something.. its just that i miss my friends and blockmates (hehe, classmates seemed too plain..) can't wait to give em hugs and kisses. i think im gonna like this sem a lot basically because i am fond of the subjects that i will be taking up. anyway.. those who are interested.. here's my sched for this sem.

Schedule for 1st Semester of Junior Year, S.Y. 2005 – 2006


MONDAYS

Asian Civilization 1:00-2:30PM AVA-4
Social and Political Theories 2:30-4:00PM AVA-5
and Movements

TUESDAYS

Foundations of Education 1 1:00-2:30PM AVA-4
Rural and Urban Sociology 2:30-4:00PM AVA-4
Curriculum Development 5:30-8:30PM AVA-4

WEDNESDAYS

Foundations of Education 2 11:30-2:30PM AVA-1
World Geography 2:30-5:30PM AVA-1

THURSDAYS

Asian Civilization 1:00-2:30PM AVA-4
Social and Political Theories 2:30-4:00PM AVA-5
and Movements

FRIDAYS

Foundations of Education 1 1:00-2:30PM AVA-4
Rural and Urban Sociology 2:30-4:00PM AVA-4
Educational Evaluation 5:30-8:30PM AVA-4

Our classes will be starting come June 13..