Thursday, August 25, 2005

of beauty

isa to sa mga pinakaseryoso at pinakamaayos kong post ever.. well, at least i hope that it would be..

they say beauty is relative.. in fact, in an episode of Joan of Arcadia, God said that everything is relative, except for him of course; if that's the case, then why do we have biases? Why do we put so much effort on how we look? Why are there still lines between good-looking people and ugly people-why are there words for them? Why are we always insecured? why can't we be happy with how we look? of what we truly are? I really don't understand.

Last tuesday, our topic in sociology is oppression and discrimination. so eventually, the topic between discrimination through looks came to light. as proud as i am of our male classmates who ALL confessed about being discriminant due to a female's physical attributes-i am appalled. i dunno why. i considered them.. i dunno.. mature enough to.. hmm.. i dunno.. basta.. i felt there was something missing.. but that cant be.. kasi LAHAT sila.. so maybe the problem is with me, maybe, i was expecting too much.. or maybe im being too self-righteous..

today, i was alone in the LSL office with an officer. He's gay and he's pretty much into making himself as feminine as possible. He's good looking in a way nice skin and eyes, okay hair.. great female singing voice too. He has boyfriendSSS, he's got friends. he can afford to regularly go to a spa or a beauty salon an yet, he's telling me that he's still not contented. He confessed that sometimes he gets so depressed in looking at the mirror that he just simply cries. i dunno if it's just exagerration on his part or whatever, but i believe that statements like that could not be uttered without any truth in it. I suddenly thought to myself "if u cry by just looking at the mirror, then maybe i should just slit my wrist whenever i see myself reflected in any surface.." I mean.. hello.. where's you're self-worth? it's just the packaging.. it will eventually shrivel up and die someday but what's inside remains forever not only inside of you but eventually inside the people whose lives you've touched. Is your life so worthless that your imperfections move you to tears or even sadness? Is it so shallow that you base your being on how others percieve your physical appearance? Common! u have your boyfriends! why not start somewthing meaningful and self-satisfying (and i don't mean start having sex or some other crazy things)and maybe even intimate. My guess is that he's trying too hard to be perfect physically because he is so insecured of himself... but i didn't say anything.. all i said was.. "yea.. ganyan talaga.. we all have days like that.." im pretty much a crappy friend aren't I?

back to beauty; they say that it's what's inside that counts, how can anybody show what's inside when nobody gives them a shot because they are too dull. i think society has been hiding behind this saying...

hmm.. i am human.. and i do need sleep. im gonna be continuing this by tommorow afternoon..

o yea.. here's me.. warts, pimples and all.. well, pimples anyway.. i don't have warts yet..

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Friday, August 05, 2005

haapppeeee!!!

Its such a wonderful day today. Natapos na yung mga dapat kong tapusin na report. and i believe that my teaching is up to par kanina. im so happy na wala na meng report, till next week anyway-oh well, that gives me enough time to make my visuals. blue and orange yung theme ng visuals ko.. ansakit sa mata pero.. cute! wala nanaman kaming klase sa ed.eval. mam ramos talaga eh.. but what the heck am i complaining for.. saya nga eh.. Feudalism ang topic ko for monday. I love it-sobra.. makes me think of dashing barons, handsome knights in shining armor and me as the beautiful damsel in distress. mwahahahahhahahha!!! kausap ko nanaman si insan Ren. kulit talaga.. anyway, i miss her ate renalyn.. saya ng buhay nya, sa gapo kasi sya ngaun.. libre load from tita kea di na napagod sa kakataext sakin.

nakakalungkot lang kasi di ako nakapag don bosco ngaun.. and another REALLy sad news.. Patay na si Roco-i've always liked him kasi he fought for the rights of women and youth. he's one of those politicians who i looked up to, and now, he's gone-just when the country needs a decent politician. nakaktuwa.. daming online ngaun.. :)