Monday, July 25, 2005

same shit different day

i've been trying to get away from my responsibilities for 4 days now. I've become such a useless creature.. lurking in the sofa, rummaging through my pocketbook collection.. not having any appetite.. in short.. im a mess.

although of course, when you see me at school, you pretty much won't notice it. anyway.. enough about that. its time for me to regal you of my boob-tube finds.

last saturday and last night.. i was glued to the Lifestyle Channel. I'm no martha stewart wanne be or am i dreaming to be the next tyra banks or naomi campbell. i just found something really interesting in this channel that i usually by pass unless there is an E! entertainment special or revealed. NO! IM NOT TORTURING MYSELF W/Jaques Torres' chocolate recipes and tantalizing desert ideas... I was watching a german movie titled "ANTONIA" whew.. was it complicated or what! God, it was such a wonderful movie. I wonder if Edsel would be so nice as to review it. Anyway, it's about Antonia, she is a law student who was also a part-time paparazzi. she happened to snap a picture of the Count Leonhart Ahrendorrf with a woman. Also included in the picture was an unknown man. Anyway, Leonhartd pursue her until he got the film. It was quite a long movie-more or less four hours that was why it was cut in two parts. Anyway, i wasn't bored by it. there was so many twists and turns in the plot that there was not one single unimportant scene. Basically, it was a drama, mixed with suspense and action. There was also a bit of comedy involved but all the same it was very touching...

i wonder if i could find a pirated DVD of it in Quiapo. It would be soO worth it even if I bought the original. anyway.. did i mention that the woman who portrayed antonia had likeness to sandra bullock's jaw line and face shape? while her smile resembles Julia Roberts' and her body type is like... like... man.. i can't think of any hollywood type as voluptous as this woman. She's so sexy! She's like queen latifah, minus about a couple of pounds but the boobs are the same size. she's really hot. and the men.. aw my gawd.. Leonhardt has really pretty deep blue eyes while moritz has light green eyes. The casting director did a great job and the actors/actresses are really very talented.

suddenly im so open to foreign languaged films. i wanna see "hable con ella"...

anyway.. antonia is such an intense movie. i wouldn't mind seeing it again.

back to the real world. PGMA will be presenting her SONA in a matter of hours a couple of meters from where i live... arrgghh.. what is happening to my country??!!!!!

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Im free writing cuz I think I did something really wrong and I am feeling very guilty about it.

It’s eleven oclock, and im still awake.. writing this cuz I think I wont be able to sleep tonight. Why do I feel guilty when I shouldn’t be? All I did was tell a fact. Maybe I am feeling guilty cuz I think I might’ve made it seem worse than it sounds? I dunno. I’m so confused, sorry, humiliated, aggravated.. arrgghh whatever! So this was why warning bells were ringing in my head. But I did heed the warning, I did think a million times before I said anything.. I thought about it a number of times before I blurt it out? Then why am I suddenly feeling as if I’ve made a wrong decision? Why do I feel like I’ve made someone feel that things are much worse than they actually are? Why, oh why do I want to cry and just pound something till my knuckles bruise? I can’t say that I didn’t think.. cuz I did! And yet my judgment at that time told me that it was the right thing to do. It seemed logical.. yet now.. it seems very trivial. Whatever it was, tapos na sya. Also, I’m beginning to feel that I’ve made the wrong assumptions. Arrgghh!! Bat ngaun ko lang naalala tong catch phrase na to??!! ASSUME makes an ASS out of U and ME. Damn it.. pag pagod na ko dapat talaga di na ko pinag oopinyon. Di dapat ako pinagsasalita. Parang feel ko kasi talaga mali yung mga tenses na sinabi ko. Tapos na yun, wala nang kasunod. Arrgghh!! Please!!! Lemme turn back time!!!!! I hate myself. If u knew me well enough, then alam nyo na bihira ako magdrama ng ganito. Di ko alam kung anong kalalabasan ng nasabi ko ngayong gabing ito, ngunit sa mga taong masasaktan o maapektuhan, pinapangunahan ko na kayo ng sorry. Maiintindihan ko kung hindi nyo na nanaisin na makipagassociate sakin It’s no less than I deserve.

Siguro dadating ang pagkakataon na titignan ko tong post kong ito at matatawa ako sa kababawan ko.. pero ngayon.. wala eh.. nahihiya, naiiyak, naasar lang ako sa sarili ko.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Home Study Program

I'm so excited.. as in sobra.. not excited as in natutuwa but more on anticipation. Pano ko kea matuturuan yung mga bata dun sa bosco? me matututunan kaya sila saken? it doesn't get more real than this. I hope this would be a success. I so want to help.. at least in my own way. I may not be rich enough to give them money but i reckon that i have enough knowledge to start them on their way.

Me and my mom had a very heated argument just a couple of hours ago. She was suggesting that i go to Canada-and the first words out of my mouth was... "NO WAY WILL I BE SOME SPOILED BRAT'S YAYA" i think she was really taken aback by what i blurted out. So i prattled on about NOT WASTING 4 YEARS OF MY LIFE-NOT TO MENTION THE CITY GOVERNMENT OF MANILA'S MONEY-STUDYING- JUST TO COOK AND CLEAN AND WIPE SOMEONE ELSE'S Ass. When i settled down a bit-it was her turn to lecture me about.. kweh? come to think about it.. i never really listened to what she was saying. My mind was made up. The only way that they would get me to set foot on that frigid country is if I will be teaching there-as a bonafide professional teacher. no way am i settling for less.

anyway.. nuff about that.. i have an unfinished story here.. i hope you guys would comment on it.. it is actually finished but i havent typed it all yet.. this is about 1/3 of my story.. anyway.. here it goes.. enjoy..

“Hey
Somere!”


“Oh
Brent! It’s you!” Somere replied, startled by Brent’s sudden greeting.


Stupid
moron.. how dare he show his face to me??



“So, how
was it? Is it what you’ve imagined it to be??” Somere asked with a bit of
sarcasm that she can’t quite hide.


Brent
seemed oblivious.


“Oh, the
play?? Oh Wow! Actually.. it went beyond my expectations. They all performed
much better than they did at practice. I guess actors really do work best under
pressure..” Brent enthusiastically shared. While Somere blustered inwardly.


Oh I
bet.. no pressure at all especially for you, the main character.. you seemed so
relaxed.. so friggin cocky and confident.. most evidently in that sweet sweet
kiss in the finale.. with Sandra.. damn..



Seeing
as Somere has no inclination to take over the conversation like she usually
does. Brent decided to take the lead. “So.. are you gonna give us good
reviews? You need pictures to go along with your article in the school
paper??” He asked with a bit of a smile.



Oh no
you don’t.. you don’t get squat! I hated the play.. hated it.. it’s a
blatant mockery of everything the theatre stands for.. Okay.. Oh boy.. get a
hold of yourself Somere.. it wasn’t really that bad... actually.. it was quite
wonderful..


BUT..
Sandra really lacked acting skills.. so she made up for it with her incredible
lip-locking skills.. or should I give the credit to Brent??


Somere
was bowed down all the while.. before looking up at Brent and plastering a fake
smile into her face. “Yea.. sure.. the story was great and the ending.. was..
well.. it was so much more passionate than I had expected.” Somere’s smile
faltered a bit. Remembering the kiss that had stunned the whole audience,
students and teachers alike, Somere can’t help feeling a stab of jealousy,
especially when she speculated how thoroughly Brent and Sandra must have
practiced.



“so
you too huh.. everyone’s talking about it.. some seniors even approached me
this morning, with Sandra’s humongous jock boyfriend to express their dislike
of the ending..” Brent announced grimly.


Somere
quickly checked her companion out for bruises. Sandra’s very jealous, very
possessive boyfriend is one of the school bullies. It would not be unusual for
him and his posse to beat the living daylights out of Brent. So far she could
see no obvious damage. Brent is perfect, as usual. “You okay??” Somere
finally asked in a voice choked by concern.


He
better be okay. Or I swear to God I will use every connection I have.. tell
every friggin “accident” that big oaf got into.. to the principal. I vow
that I will get him kicked out and make his life a living hell if he ever
touched one strand of Brents chocolate hair.


Brent
flashed his 1000 megawatts smile. “Yea.. im fine.. nothing physical.. verbal
sparring.. that’s all..”



I
don’t believe you for one second Brent. I’m gonna find out exactly what
happened. Verbal sparring my ass! Sandra’s boyfriend doesn’t have enough
words in his vocabulary for a verbal push.



“I
don’t know what’s all the fuss about anyway. It’s just a kiss. So it’s
with a pretty girl, big deal! A kiss is only between the two people who are
doing it and how they feel about each other..” Brent said to himself

Monday, July 04, 2005

emo mode nanaman..

aaaarrrrgghh.. di ko na lam kung anong mas masakit.. tong ulo ko.. o etong kapiraso ng laman na tinatawag kong puso..

Breakdown
VERSE 1
You call yesterday to basically say
That you care for me but that you're just not in love
Immediately I pretended to beel similarly
And led you to believe I was O.K.
To just walk away from the thing
That's unyielding and scared to me
CHORUS 1
Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going the extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly loosing my my mind
Underneath the guise of a smile gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal that fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And trun down all the lights and then break down and cry

VERSE 2
So what do you do when somebody you're devoted to
Suddenly just stops loving you and it seems they haven't
got a clue
Of the pain that rejection is putting you through
Do you cling to your pride and sing "I will survive"
Do you lash out and say "How dare you leave leave this way"
Do you hold on in vain as they just slip away

CHORUS 2
Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going the extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly loosing my my mind
Underneath the guise of a smile gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal that fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights and then break down and cry

Rap 1 Wish Bone
Rap 2 Krayzie Bone
Rap 3 Wish Bone
Rap 4 Krayzie Bone

CHORUS 3
Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going the extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly loosing my my mind
Underneath the guise of a smile gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal that fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights and then break down and cry

.. wala lang.. emo mode pa din.. yoko nah!!!!

emo mode pa din

baket ba ganito ang buhay? yung gusto mo, di ka gusto. ang sarap sarap ianalyze and lahat ng datos.. lahat ng posibilidad ngunit sa huli.. ano nga ba? bakit nga ba? bakit sya at hindi ako? pisikal nga lang ba tlaga? when it comes right down to it, nang... waaaahhh. shadap! shadap! wala nanamang kwenta ang sinasabi ko.. hahhhhyyyyy..

etong kanta para sakin... naghahanap ng kakanta

Tell Me Where it Hurts
MYMP

Why is that sad look in your eyes
Why are you crying?
Tell me now, tell me now
Tell me, why you're feelin' this way
I hate to see you so down, oh baby!

Is it your heart
Oh, that's breakin' all in pieces
Makin' you cry
Makin' you feel blue
Is there anything that I can do

[CHORUS:]
Why don't you tell me where it hurts now, baby
And I'll do my best to make it better
Yes, I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts
Now, tell me
And I love you with a love so tender
Oh and if you let me stay
I'll love all of the hurt away

Where are all those tears coming from
Why are they falling?
somebody, somebody, somebody leave your heart in the cold
You just need somebody to hold on, baby
(Give me a chance)
To put back all the pieces
Take hold of your heart
Make it just like new
There's so many things that I can do

[Chorus]

[Instrumental]

Is it your heart
Oh, that's breakin' all in pieces
Makin' you cry
Makin' you feel blue
Is there anything that I can do

[CHORUS]

Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me baby
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me
And I'll do my best to make it better
Yes, I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts
Now, tell me
And I love you with a love so tender
Oh, and if you let me stay
I'll love all of the hurt away

Saturday, July 02, 2005

emo mode

ewan ko kung baket.. okay naman me kanina.. ah ewan.. cant concentrate.. waaaaaaahhhh.. im not making any sense.. as usual..

although feel ko natuto ako ng sobra sa seminar ni sir.. ganun pala tlaga un.. next time na mapdpad samin yung pamangkin ko.. pagsusulatin ko yun.. heheh..

nanalo kaya si Harry kanina??

Waaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!! christian Bautista.. mahal kita!!!!!!

natatawa ako sa mga comments ng kapatid ko sa mga pinaka recent pix nameng mga ss..

il be posting them soon..

..or better yet.. pa print ko kaya yung iba??!!! minimum of 10 prints sa island photo kaso 7.50 per print.. samantalang sa photoline 6 lang.. kaso di ko sure kung me minimum na number of prints.. ah basta..

eto pa... mga knta ng tulad ko..

Secret Love - Jojo

Boy you’re so hard to believe
Boy you’re so hard to believe

Just a friend
That’s all I’ve ever been to you
Oh just a girl
Who wants to be the center of your world
But I ain’t got much to offer
But my heart and soul
And I guess that’s not enough
For you to notice me
I’m just a girl
And I guess that’s all I’ll ever be to you
To you

Chorus:
I try to smile when I see other girls with you
Acting like everything is ok
But ohh
You don’t know how it feels to be so in love
With someone who doesn’t even know
My secret love

In my dreams
I see us both together constantly
Why can’t you see
This love that’s here for you inside of me
Ohhh
What do I have to do
For you to notice this
You look at her with love
With me it’s just friendship
I’m just your girl
And I guess that’s all I’ll ever be to you
To you

Chorus:
I try to smile when I see other girls with you
Acting like everything is ok
But ohh
you don’t know how it feels to be so in love
With someone who doesn’t even know
My secret love

Bridge:
What do you see in her
You don’t see in me (don’t see in me)
Boy you’re so hard to believe
Why do you show her love
But there’s none for me
Boy you don’t make sense to me
Cause I don’t have much to offer
But my heart and soul
And I guess that’s not enough
For you to notice me
I’m just your girl
And I guess that’s all I’ll ever be to you
To you

Chorus:
I try to smile when I see other girls with you
Acting like everything is ok (everything ain’t ok)
But ohh
you don’t know how it feels to be so in love (so in love with you baby)
With someone who doesn’t even know
My secret love

Boy you’re so hard to believe


.....

just rip my heart out.. its of no use to me anyway.. whatevers left of it..