Sunday, May 29, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Sunday, May 08, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
I opened the paper last week (yes, as if I don't get enough news on the web, I actually have the patience to read through the editorial pages of PDI), and saw this article on young blood. An intelligent and seemingly successful 21 year old woman was whining about how, in her 21 years of existence here on this earth, she has not had a valentine because she's a member of NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth).
Well, I'm not exactly a part of that demographic but I identify with her. It's lonely and depressing to be alone on valentines day and I kinda feel fake if I celebrate it giving roses and chocolates to my folks since I do enough of that on mother's day, father's day - not to mention their respective birthdays. I'm hardly the type to hook up either. I could spend it with my friends (and get stinkin drunk) but my location would not give me that luxury.
Honestly, I think I should just go abroad and work. I feel like I'm no different than an OFW since I don't really have a life here. It would be a great adventure of epic proportions - to be able to meet people from different countries, nationalities, walks of life. I'd be willing to do manual labor - it would be nice to do something that doesn't exhaust my braincells.
Anyway, yeah.. Valentines suck. I don't even have a good book to read. Or a good kdrama to indulge in. Did I mention that Valentines suck? I already did?? well, so does Mondays.. I hate Mondays with a passion. Why do they have to be together.. I thought 2011 is my year (according to the chinese lunar calendar)? Rabbit? wth!? Work your magic!
Friday, January 14, 2011
Yesterday started out ordinarily enough. Woke up, went through my routine, then my sister suddenly asked me to look up flight information for saturday morning. Which I did no questions asked. My mother, ever the fountain of information texted us that our Uncle, my dad's oldest brother passed away last night.
I was shocked. I knew he was weak but I thought that it was more due to his advancing years rather than a pressing illness. I felt sick to my stomach when I remembered my dad reminiscing several months ago that the last time he and his brother actually talked - his brother was asking him to come home and visit, to which my dad replied that he can't because he cannot take time off from work. He said that uncle asked him when he will make time? at his funeral? I guess his words rang true and I can only imagine my dad's grief. He was crying non-stop since he heard the news yesterday till late last night. I never knew my dad to be that emotional. Sure, he cried when we buried his older sister , our favorite tita, and his uncle, our defacto lolo on his side-but never with this much heartbreaking grief. I'm quite worried.
My Uncle, what little bits and pieces I remember of him, was a somber man. He was a busy body who woke up at the crack of dawn and I remember him and his wife making several "banyeras" of suman during our stay at their sprawling colonial house which is right at the center of Calbayog city. They (siblings) have a wide age gap and my dad always said that when most of them were playing, being kids - their kuya had already been working to help clothe, feed and shelter their brood of six. My lolo and lola on my father's side, I was told, died only a couple of months apart so that burden was carried alone by my Uncle until relatives and good Samaritans took in his siblings. Then he got married and created his own family.
I can only imagine how hard that must have been. But what I find astounding is that through it all, through all the moves and through different homes and relatives each sibling went through-they never forgot to keep in touch with each other. Out of the six of them, he was the only one who lived at Samar his whole life. It's like, he's been waiting at home, making sure that he's there if ever one of his siblings decide to visit or stay.
I wish I could have visited them more than once. I wish I had gotten to know him as much as I did Tita Lisa. I wish I could have known my cousins and my nieces and nephews who are probably a lot older than me. I wish our family would have been a lot closer with the rest of our relatives.
So I'll leave this post with Harry Chapin's Cat's Cradle as a reminder to never take one's family for granted in the pursuit of things we think might make us happy.
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Chopsuey. Mixed veggies with quail eggs, pork, or chicken or whatever is in the freezer. Just a jumble of anything and everything under the sun. Describes my emotions to the t.
I'm sad. Sad because fate is fickle and life is unfair. Sad that luck plays too big of a part in our lives and that we can't do anything about it.
Sad that we have to say goodbye to people whom we just met. It also makes me sad that I feel like I wasn't able to prove myself and correct whatever misconceptions these group of people may have formed about me, be it good or bad.
Frustrated. Frustrated that some people can't understand the concept of "live and let live". That choosing sides in an argument is never productive. Frustrated that many people still judge a book by its cover and that they still make snap judgments despite having so many precautionary tales to adhere to.
Relieved that I made it.
Happy that I got to meet this lovely group of people. Happy that I was able to share laughter and a couple of bottles of beer with them.
Grateful for the time, the knowledge, the friendship and the concern.
Most of all, I am excited to go through this path and see where it leads.